Saturday, March 29, 2008

My Secret Weapon For Success

As a life coach and counselor, I have a pretty big bag of tricks that I draw from when supporting my clients in their goals. One such "trick" that I consider my secret weapon is "The Group."
The Group refers to the power of purposefully collaborating with like-minded and like-hearted people on behalf of a higher purpose. I call The Group a secret because regardless of how public many groups are, the power of the group still escapes many. As a matter of fact most of my clients bristle at the idea of joining a group whenever I suggest it. I'm usually met with, "Hmmm, I'm not into groups. I prefer one-on-one. I don't want to hang out with a bunch of whiners."
This resistance to groups is understandable. There's some truth to the "whiner" stereotype and the wrong group will be ineffective and a waste of time. However, the right group offers exponential effectiveness that you can't get from just one teacher. For the same amount of time invested, you put your needs out to the "group universe" and instantly the collective encouragement, wisdom, experience, and network of your group becomes yours! That is the power of the group.

If you are to realize the full potential of this opportunity there are a few things you should know. First of all there are two jobs that must be fulfilled: your job and the group's job. Your clarity and thoroughness regarding both is of vital importance.

Your Job
In order to benefit from The Group you must have the correct mind-set. Here's a check-list to help you proceed with the right attitude:
* Do you have a superiority complex? If so, you may think that you know it all and that others have nothing to offer you. You may have a hard time admitting this, but if you're honest with yourself, you'll know if you fall into this category.
* Do you have an inferiority complex? If so you may think that everyone in the group is more or better than you. You may think that you have nothing to offer.
* If you fall into either of the above categories, you'll need to make an attitude adjustment. Understand that if you don't expose yourself to new ideas and perspectives, nothing in your life will change.
* Replace your desire to control with a commitment to trust the process. If you could reach your goals on your own, you already would have.
* Remember: It is about progress not perfection. Whether you are trying to find your group OR realize your goal - it is a journey. The journey is rarely linear. It is more often one of three-steps-forward-two-steps-back, two-steps-forward-one-step-back... In other words, you must take on a long-term approach to the group and be patient.

The Group's Job
Armed with the correct mind-set you're ready to find or build your group. If your group is to be a powerful catalyst for positive change in your life, you'll want to be clear about the following:
* Group Culture - Each group has its own personality and style. Whether you're building a group or joining one, think about the energy, the feel, and the culture that would be a good fit. Some groups offer feedback, some do not. Some groups are more gentle and passive, other groups adhere to the "please-kick-my-butt-so-I'll-succeed" style of support. There are many ways to be successful. Some people like to move fast. Others aren't in a hurry. Whatever your style, take the time to find the right fit. Visit numerous groups to get a feel or, if you're starting a group, do yourself the favor of clarifying this for yourself and your cohorts.
* Clear Purpose - Make sure the group has a clearly stated purpose. This information serves you in two important ways. A clear purpose allows you to weed out waste-of-time scenarios quickly. It also helps the group stay on track.
* Structure and Standards - An effective group has a clear structure and set of standards. A group that has defined its stance on issues of commitment, meeting frequency, topics of discussion, leadership, and participation requirements will be more powerful as a catalyst for positive change than say, a casual monthly lunch group where the priority is more about connection than accomplishment.

How to Find Your Group
Once you've got your search criteria and mind-set lined up, all that is left is to find your group. Here are some ideas to get your started:
* Do a Google search by topic and or geographic region. Include the words "clubs," "groups," and/or "mastermind."
* Go to the library and ask the reference librarian for directories focused on associations, groups or clubs.
* Check out your local newspaper.
* Seek out classes focused on your topic to meet like-minded people. If a group doesn't exist, approach the teacher or a classmate for some brainstorming.
Einstein said, "No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it." The Group is the "weapon" that can absolutely attack and defend against what could be your greatest enemy - you! Although a weapon metaphor may seem contrary to spiritually-oriented success coaching, it makes a point: If you're serious about creating positive change, a commitment to the right group is invaluable!

About the Author
International Life Coach, Sonia M. Miller, is author of "The Attraction Distraction: Why the Law of Attraction Isn't Working for You and How to Get Results Finally!" For her FREE Special Report: "How to Unleash the Magic When the Law of Attraction DOESN'T Work for You!" and her FREE content-rich newsletter, "Sonia Miller's Soul Food Ezine." Go to: http://www.SuccessForTheSoul.com

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